


Mother of Monsters

by metal_lamp



Category: Greek and Roman Mythology, Norse Mythology, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Crack, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-24
Updated: 2012-09-24
Packaged: 2017-11-14 23:39:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metal_lamp/pseuds/metal_lamp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki interrupts Echidna's fight with Percy to start a MoM fight - a Mother of Monsters fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mother of Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> This is also on my FF.net account: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8232646/1/Mother-of-Monsters
> 
> This crack, and follows the first book, the Lightning Thief. Loki seems a bit OOC but this takes place after the events of Thor...so...enjoy!

Percy kind of regretted angering the Echidna, because he barely dodged the vicious bite from the Chimera. He looked around, trying to find something that could help him, and only saw screaming civilians. The demigod sighed, yelled “Hey, Chihuahua!” and braced himself.

It turned to him faster than he expected and opened its mouth. But out of the sky came a bright flash and it slammed right in front of him.

The Chimera roared and stepped back, teeth bared. The Echidna’s face was one of confusion and anger and she yelled at her son to attack Percy. Percy could only stare at the human-shape that emerged from the light. It was a really tall man, he noticed as the figure stood. He glanced at Percy, curious for a bit before he turned to Chimera’s column of flame. 

“Mister, get-!” He glanced at the boy behind him as he formed a shield around both of them, protecting him and the demigod. But it didn’t block the terrible stench.

“Down, sonny.” The Echidna hissed at her infuriated son, ad whirled to face the green-clad man. She sneered.

“And what are you supposed to be, a demigod?” Percy couldn’t see the man’s reaction, but saw him lift a pale hand.

“I am Loki, God of Mischief and Lies.”

“Why are you here, God of Lies?” The Echidna petted her son, who looked straight at Percy and licked his chops. The boy had tried to look around Loki but when he saw that,   
retreated behind the god. But he stepped close to the Echidna and slightly to the right.

“I came here to correct you. You are not the ’Mother of Monsters’.” The Chimera, who had been eyeing Percy hungrily, suddenly took on a face of confusion, or as close of one a lion could get. 

The Echidna was not pleased with what Loki said. Percy looked at him, rather impressed. Loki just stood there, giving the monstrous mom a “Come-at-me” look. 

“Me, not the Mother of all Monsters? Look at my sonny, my Chimera! Doesn’t he look horrendous and ferocious?” The Chimera turned to his mother and whimpered. Loki yawned.

“Oh yes, he could scare an infant, perhaps. Now, compare him to my Fenrir.” He waved at hand in the air, and the face of an enormous wolf appeared. Percy moved around to get a better view, and noticed it had better quality than a computer. And that the Chimera focused its attention on him, again.

“He is quite frightening.” The Echidna admitted. Loki, who was looking at his wolf son proudly, tuned to her with a scowl.

“Quite? He is destined to eat the King of Gods, Odin!” He snapped. The other monster mom just ‘hmphed’ at him.

“Most Mother of Monsters had dog-like monsters. But do you have,” She paused dramatically and waved at the air. Just like Loki, an image appeared, but this one looked like it was   
taken by bad camera phone. 

“The Hydra! My lovely little Hydra! Cut of one of her heads and she will grow two more!” crowed the Echidna, who lifted her arms into the air. Percy stared at the image, paling.

“Please don’t tell me I’ll have to face it.” He moaned, and at the same time, Loki laughed.

“That is rather impressive, but no match for Jörmungandr, the Midgard Sepernt.” He clapped his hands and the imaged near him simmered and changed to a really long snake-thing. It looked like it was sleeping, but then it lifted its terrifying head at looked straight at the God of Lies. He waved and said something that sounded like “Hi Honey!”

“Jörmungandr is as big as your planet. He can actually bite his tail.” Loki told Percy helpfully, and Percy made a note to ask his Dad about it. He didn’t want to fight the Hydra or the Serpent.

The Echidna, on the other hand, got angrier, and threw up her hand again and then formed another image. Of a three-headed dog that snarled at him when it spotted the demigod. Seriously, Percy though, why do all dog-like creatures notice him? Even Fenrir the wolf looked at him and growled.

“Cerberus guards the gates of Hades, of the Underworld!” The Echidna looked pointedly at the green-cloaked god. He shrugged.

“My daughter Hel is the queen of the Underworld, so that’s not impressive.”

“I have the Crommyonian Sow! The Colchion dragon—Scylla! ” Image after image appeared and Percy noticed some civilians were still hanging around, screaming their heads off. 

He scratched his head, wondering what they saw, and sadly turned back to the horrifying images.

“Yawn. Bo-ring.” Loki said, tapping his fingers against his mouth. He and the Echidna engaged in another death-glare contest when Percy remembered something.

“Wait, I thought Hades was the Lord of the Underworld. How is your daughter the queen of it?” He said as he pointed in Loki’s direction. The Echidna opened her mouth, the closed it tightly.

“Never mind that, Percy Jackson. I haven’t finished testing you.”

“And I haven’t finished with you, Echidna.” Loki butted in, and sending a quick ‘apologies’ to Percy. Percy, however, finally uncapped his sword.

“Uhh, I’m pretty sure I have to fight her or something. I mean, the Chimera tried to torch a national monument and endanger people.” Loki threw him a quick, careless glance.

“If they want to live, they would have left since some time ago.” Loki paused and turned to face Percy fully, ignoring the steaming Echidna behind him.

“Are you sure you aren’t one of mine?” Loki said, tapping his chin and taking in Percy’s hair and eyes. Percy paled, then turned a sickly shade of green as he realized something.


End file.
